Helsinki

In ten days I fly across the pond to Europe, landing in Denmark, then Helsinki. First Euro/Scandinavian trip in my life, and even though I am struggling to cope with the news I talked about in my last post, I am getting a little excited. Four days ago I didn't want to leave at all, I wanted to hide under the covers and wake up from a bad dream (which I still wish would happen). Speaking with Alan last night, the friend I'm visiting in Helsinki, lifted my spirits a bit after talking about finding love in life, make it ours, finding our homes.

This month has held a lot of firsts for me. There is a once in a lifetime opportunity possibly looming on the horizon, but I don't want to write about it in the event that my hopes get up. I can't handle another blow this soon in the game. All the bits of my body that can be crossed are crossed, let's just say that.

I'm hoping with Finland & Sweden on the horizon that the time away will help, if not heal a little. I don't think what's happened in the last week can be healed, but I think having a position to look at life objectively from afar may help. I'll be immersed in one of the most beautiful cultures in the world, surrounded by languages I only understand a little of, and will hopefully venture into the Arctic Circle for some complete solitude and quiet. Documenting this I think will start a door opening to beauty again & I'll share the experience here. Images will fill me up again. I know it.